Last night I woke up and I watched the clock, and it said 2:42.
Itisnotthefirsttimethishappens.Waking up at 2:42am.
It doesn't only happen at night.
When I look at the clock at noon, 12:42.In the evening 22:42. Sometimes, when I am running in the gym, on a threadmill, counting down from 15 minutes, I watch down, another 2 minutes and 42 seconds to run.
Pause.
I had a friend, Dennis, who got killed in a car accident. He fell asleep and drove into a tree.He was a fan of Front 242.You know the band?
Dennis was a huge fan, bought t-shirts and sweaters, had all records, saw their concerts. On these sweaters, you could read Front 242.
242.
Pause.
Now I realise this is not a coincidence.
Is it important for you to know what will happen next?
YESNO
NO
You ShouldStop
You might want toHad you only
You must
It is forbidden toYou are required to
Be on time
One knows that
Here's an exercise: compare the feelings of an animal engaged in eating
another with those of the animal being eaten.
Oneoftheprisonerstoldmeananecdoteaboutkiwis.Thefruit.Ididn'thavepermissiontorecordourconversation,soIhavetoreconstructthestoryfrommemory.Shetoldmehowimportantitisforhertoeatfruit,andthatitisnotalwaysavailableintheprison.Shelovesfruit,butnotkiwis.Andforsomereason,therewasasurplusofkiwisintheprison.Theprisonersweregivenakiwieverydayforaweek.Becauseofthis,shefoundsomethingtoconvincehertoeatthekiwis."IfIsay'Hooray! A kiwi!'fivetimes,I'llbelieveI'mhappywithakiwiafterthethirdtimeandafterthefifthtime,I'mhappytoeatit."
Is it important for you to know what will happen next?
YESNO
NO
Here’s an exercise: go to the mirror, look yourself in the face, and say out loud: To take care of you is not normal. I can only do it temporarily. Saying this to yourself will merely be an echo of what the world repeats all the time.
One of the prisoners told me an anecdote about kiwis. The fruit. I didn’t have permission to record our conversation, so I have to reconstruct the story from memory. She told me how important it is for her to eat fruit, and that it is not always available in the prison. She loves fruit, but not kiwis. And for some reason, there was a surplus of kiwis in the prison.The prisoners were given a kiwi every day for a week. Because of this, she found something to convince her to eat the kiwis. "If I say 'Hooray! A kiwi!' five times, I’ll believe I’m happy with a kiwi after the third time and after the fifth time, I’m happy to eat it."